Weighty Matters
by FemaleChauvinist
Summary: Even a vampire like Esme occasionally feels insecure about her looks.


**Disclaimer:** Recognizable characters and plotlines are the property of Stephenie Meyer; all original characters and story © 2017 FemaleChauvinist.

 _Do not post without permission. Do not copy/print without including the above disclaimer in its entirety._

 **Carlisle**

I avoided shopping with Alice if at all possible (even Jasper had to be coaxed), but I enjoyed going to the mall with Esme. With Alice, the main objective was to shop; preferably to buy half the store. With Esme, we simply wandered around enjoying each other's company. We even went into the less expensive stores Alice wouldn't be caught dead in, just to browse through the items they carried. It didn't matter if we bought anything or not.

Esme sniffed the air as we came out of a card shop. "Mmm…cinnamon. I love that smell."

I smiled. "Buy you a cinnamon bun?" I offered, only half teasing; she could walk around the mall smelling it if she wanted to.

"No, thanks; I have to watch my weight," she replied demurely.

I chuckled and she laughed with me, but there was something off about her laughter. "Esme?"

She sighed. "Carlisle…would you like me better…if I could lose a few pounds?"

"Of course not," I answered instantly. I thought she was perfectly beautiful as she was…but even if I hadn't, did she think I was crazy enough to say yes? Especially since she was a vampire who couldn't lose weight. "You may not have an hourglass figure, but you aren't fat, Esme," I continued, a little too stunned to think of putting my words in more diplomatic terms. "No one would even call you plump." Even as a human, her round curves had been her natural body shape, not due to any fat.

"I would have been, though," she said soberly. "If I had stayed human a few more years."

"Well, you're the type it would look good on, love," I assured her. "You know…the comfortably plump grandmother with ready hugs and a full cookie jar."

She smiled briefly. "Do you… _like_ your women…chubby, Carlisle?"

I wagged my finger in her face. "No one is allowed to call thee chubby in my hearing, Esme, love; I'm afraid I can't make exceptions." It was such a gross overstatement that as long as she wasn't there to hear the insult, I would be more likely to laugh in the speaker's face than to attack.

"Carlisle." My teasing had had no effect; she wanted an answer.

"'My women,'" I mused, trying to give myself time to think. "You make it sound like I have a harem, love." Didn't she realize that I had been blind to all other women since I met her? I noticed them only to compare them with my Esme…and they all came up short.

And before I had met her, I hadn't allowed myself to notice, knowing none of them were for me. "I will admit, I always thought corsets were a ridiculous fashion; the women who wore them looked like they'd snap in half. Besides all the health implications," I muttered under my breath. "I suppose you could say I think moderation looks best — not too fat, not too thin."

"And am I 'moderate' enough for you?" she asked with a trace of bitterness in her voice.

"Esme, love, thou art the epitome of beauty in my eyes," I murmured. "What's brought this on, love?" If we were going to have this conversation, I would have thought we would have had it years ago, when I first changed Rosalie.

Esme sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder. "When you got home late the other day, I was watching one of the talk shows…the woman who was on said her husband left her because she gained a few pounds. She didn't look _that_ much heavier than me, Carlisle."

"Then her husband was crazy," I said bluntly. To leave his wife for such a superficial reason at all…

Esme sighed again, resting her head against my arm. "Carlisle, if I was human — if we were _both_ human and I had gained a few pounds…would you still think I was attractive?"

I captured her hand and gently kissed her fingertips. "Esme, love, _thou_ would be beautiful in my eyes if thou weighed ninety pounds…or a hundred and ninety." I didn't love her because she was beautiful; I thought her beautiful because I loved her. She was my standard of beauty. I slipped an arm around her waist. "But I happen to think thou art perfect just the way thou art. But what about thee?" I added, raising an eyebrow at her. "Would thou still love me if I was old and gray…and _fat_?" I playfully tweaked her nose.

"Carlisle!" she protested, laughing.

"Well, would you? Be honest, now, love."

"Don't be silly. As if it mattered; you'd be _Carlisle_ no matter what you looked like."

"Exactly, my love; thou hast been a ridiculous little goose. Now come on; let's go find some cinnamon-scented candles."

The End

 **A/N: By the way, I never thought it made sense for vampires to find the smell of something disgusting simply because a human will eat it. As a comparison, I like the smell of Ivory bar soap, but the thought of** _ **eating**_ **it is still disgusting! (And, no, I really don't consider Esme plump, but going by S.M. description of "round," I do draw her a touch thicker than Rosalie.) Barbie.**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. (I also have a chronological list of my stories, so you can see where they fit in my timeline.) Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


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